**DISCLAIMER** EVERYTHING BELOW IS MY PERSONAL OPINION AND MY OWN THOUGHTS ON THIS TOPIC. I KNOW MY STORY IS NOT EVERYONE ELSE'S STORY OR EVERYONE ELSE'S POINT OF VIEW. PLEASE RESPECT MY OPINION AS I WILL RESPECT YOURS AND IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING ELSE TO SAY THAT IS NOT DEMEANING OR DISRESPECTFUL PLEASE SHARE IN THE COMMENTS.
Hello all! Long time no see. I hope all of y'all are doing well. I'm sorry again for not being so active on my different social media platforms. I've been extremely busy and I've just had different personal things pop up lately. For those who do not know, November is National Adoption Month. This "celebration" was created to try and raise awareness of the thousands of children that are currently in foster care and to try and find them "forever homes."
Many adoptees have been celebrating this month and although I am thankful and I'm aware of the thousands of children that are still living in foster care, I haven't been celebrating it. Like I said earlier, I've been going through some things and some of the issues that I've been dealing with are dealing with adoption. The way people make it seem like we (adoptees) are unwanted and are helpless and are something to feel sorry for. That we're another thing to save. It's like we're another commercial that you see on the tv, like the dog commercials to donate money to help save the suffering dogs, or the helpless children in Africa. But we aren't. We aren't all unwanted, we aren't all unloved, we aren't all helpless. Some of us might even have had better chances in the foster care system. Maybe some of us would've escaped the abuse we dealt with once we were adopted. Maybe some of us could've stayed with our siblings in foster care instead of being separated because of adoption. Some of us that can remember our experiences can say that being adopted is a lot better than the experiences we had in foster care.
For myself, I can't remember anything about my foster home, or my foster mother. I know what they (my parent's and the adoption agency) that my foster mother loved me and cared for me as her own child. I know from my records that she had two children that helped her raise me for the three months I was with her. I know that growing up I went through difficult times, most of which I have blacked out and forgotten. I know that I'm lucky to have had the opportunities in life that I have had. I can't say with 100% confidence though that I'm lucky to have been adopted. I don't know what my life would have been like. I don't know if some of the issues that I deal with on a daily basis would be easier to deal with if I had been raised in Korea in the foster system. It isn't that I don't love my parents because I do. I love my parents and my sisters and my family, but when I was adopted I lost a part of me that I can't get back fully.
Something we learn as adoptees, is that family isn't blood. Family is something that we create for ourselves. Home isn't something that we desire because home is where our family is that we created for ourselves. We either build up our walls and don't let anyone in, or we reach out to people to create what we desire.....
However, I was adopted and I was given a life of opportunities and experiences that I know I wouldn't have had if I was in Korea. Some of those things that I'm beyond grateful for are:
1. Having my 2 amazing sisters in my life and being my role models.
2. Having my parents for always giving me what I wanted and needed in life to succeed.
3. Being an aunt to my 4 amazing nieces and nephews. (almost 5)
4. Having been given the chance to go to college and get my degree.
5. Having been able to meet and build friendships with my 2 best friends that have been there for me a
lot the past 3 years.
6. Having been able to lead a group of amazing young women and men for 5 semesters of my college
career for dance performances.
7. Having been given the chance to meet my biological mother and build a relationship with her.
And plenty of other things, all of which I wouldn't have been able to experience if I hadn't been adopted into my family. Every child deserves the right to experience the different things I have. To be able to smile and feel loved, run around and have fun, but a child does lose a part of themselves when they're adopted. During National Adoption Month and during the whole year, raise awareness for the children in foster care, raise funds to help the foster homes provide the best they can to the children they tend to, but also raise awareness for what a child goes through when they're adopted. Raise awareness for what the child might go through once they're adopted, the nightmares they might have, the tears they might shed. Don't candy coat it and make it seem like once a child is adopted all will be well, because it won't be.
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