Change

Hello all~ I hope every one has been well. Sorry I haven't written for some time. I've been busy with school now that my semester has begun. I haven't really had a lot to write about either, I've just become really numb and have gone into my routine that I go into when school is in session. Sleep, eat, study, class, dance, sleep, study, repeat everything all of again. I really need more hours in a day.

they come and they go

For me , being in a relationship is something serious. I don't just go into relationships just for fun. I think that to be in a relationship, you have to be able to see yourself with that person for a long time. I think for someone my age, I take relationships more serious than most people my age. I also find it hard for me to start a relationship with someone that's already a friend.

Sometimes

Sometimes I just want to let go of everything. Forget everything, forget what it likes to feel happy, to feel those small butterflies when you begin to like someone, forget the words people say to me. Just be alone and just listen to music, swim in the ocean, sit in a hammock and stare at the sky. I don't want to keep being let down and I don't want to keep allowing myself to be let down. But I do.

Maybe

Looking and thinking of all the blogs I have written, maybe I need to just self reflect on my life.

when will i ever LEARN

I should've known...why did I let myself feel this way...I'm so unbelievably stupid.

this is ALL you are to me.

I was looking through some groups for adoptees, recently I have gotten a lot more interested in the adoptee community and adoption in general. My senior thesis paper is actually going to be over international adoption. Anyways back to the point. I was reading the description one of the adoptee groups, and in that description is states "Please refrain from using the word "birth" mother, "birth" father. This rhetoric and labeling--which perpetuates a stigma and discrimination against parents--has been purposely coined by the adoption professionals. The result is that it reduces parents down to a "function," which serves the industry. Parents of adoption loss prefer the terms of first, natural, original (or no precursor at all)."

History Repeats Itself.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about my relationships. Most of my blog entries are about relationships, finding love, letting things go from the past, everything in that general area of life. 

Let's Get Serious.

Today my god sister got married. I'm so happy for her to begin this new chapter of her life. The new journey that she is about to start.

this year WILL be DIFFERENT

"I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone."

-Robin Williams

To Forgive and Forget.

"We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies."

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

What I Really Meant to Say

I'm Sorry 

I'm Sorry I'm Scared.

Relationships are necessary for human life. I have learned that. I have experienced life with only interacting with one or two people at most. It isn't something that I enjoyed experiencing and thinking back on my past I don't want to go back to that moment.

Happy New Year!

It's the first day of the new year and most of us begin making a list or resolutions. A new year long to-do list that we will probably forget about until next December.I usually am one of those people.