Change

Hello all~ I hope every one has been well. Sorry I haven't written for some time. I've been busy with school now that my semester has begun. I haven't really had a lot to write about either, I've just become really numb and have gone into my routine that I go into when school is in session. Sleep, eat, study, class, dance, sleep, study, repeat everything all of again. I really need more hours in a day.


Anyways, recently I was going through some frustration and confusion. I was confused on why trying something new was such a hard thing for people to do. She used this example to try to explain it to me. If you were raised to become a doctor, that was all you could ever think of becoming and your parents supported you and pushed you to become a doctor all your life, you would be completely accepting and ready for that to be your future. Then one day you find out that you have these amazing artistic skills and could become a famous artist if you put your time into it and worked really hard. What would you do? Most people would fight so hard to stay with becoming a doctor. It was something that they were used to and had always wanted to become. Becoming an artist, although having a passion and sense of completion with painting, would be something most people would not do. They would either drop art and only focus on becoming a doctor, or they would fight to keep both art and becoming a doctor in their life. They wouldn't fully give up something they were completely used to, to try something new that may or may not work out. There might have been more words in her scenario, but that is what stuck with me. This conversation was a few days ago when I was driving home from my friends birthday party and needed to stay up while I was driving. This conversation though made me realize how other people really think though.

For me, I would have dropped everything to pursue art. I don't believe that people should live with regrets. If art was something that I found to be something I loved and could actually make a living off of, I would try it out. Pursue it until my pursuit led me to the road of doom. Where my talent ended. Then I'd go back to becoming a doctor if that was still something I wanted to become after I finished art. New things are something that is exciting to me. I wouldn't want to live my life with regret of not trying something.

This conversation of course led to other discoveries about myself. Originally we were having this conversation because of relationships. How I was a little confused and had just been thinking of different reasons on why things were going a different way than what I expected or wanted.

As we continued talking, she suddenly realized that I could never date someone that was my best friend. Why it took her so long to realize this, I'm not really sure, but I agreed with her. I explained that for me, I of course want my boyfriend or husband to be my best friend. However, I do not want to be best friends before we entered a relationship. For me, if both myself and the guy were attracted to each other, I'd want to start off with a simple friendship. Once we realized though that we had feelings for each other, I'd want to be able to say that we are dating. That we are only talking to each other and that we both want to pursue this relationship. Once we started dating, we would be able to grow our friendship in to a deeper level. I treat guy best friend relationships different from guy-I-want-to-date relationships very differently. If I only see you as a best guy friend, you won't ever have a chance to date me if you develop feelings for me. But if you're a guy that I want to date, I become a different type of person. Like I said, I want to grow our friendship into a best friend relationship through dating. If I'm dating a person and we become best friends, that relationship will be on a deeper level than any guy-best-friend relationship. It's just as simple as that. Which differs from what most people believe in.

Anyways, the whole point was that my best friend finally showed me what I already knew but didn't fully know that I knew that information. Actually I kind of forgot why I started writing this blog, but you know, this blog is kind of like my diary. So this is just another entry from the life of Kat.

Gotta go now. I have one more essay to write that's due tomorrow. Good night all~